True Blood Recap: “Whatever I Am, You Made Me”

by Sarabeth Pollock:

True Blood Recap: “Whatever I Am, You Made Me”
Original Air Date (HBO): Sunday June 24, 2012
Season 5 Episode 3

Hello again, members of #FangNation.  Tonight’s episode of True Blood had so many twists and turns that my head started to spin…not quite like Lorena’s in Season 3,  but you know what I mean.

The night began where we left off. (Does anyone feel like we’re watching the True Blood equivalent of 24, with one very long day/night??  If I wasn’t taking notes—literally—I think I’d be lost.)  Tara is running through the woods, squinting through the silver mist the way we all squint after having our eyes dilated at the optometrist’s office.  (In fact, I think I may have experienced the exact same thing Tara has…)  She can’t see clearly and her skin is still burning, so she comes off as vulnerable.  She barely makes out the opossum in the tree.  But as she heals, her vision clears and she looks up in the skies and beholds the universe through her vampire eyes.  Then she hears something.  Even though Sookie and Lafayette are in the woods searching for her, Tara’s senses pick up on a woman whose car has broken down.  Let me say here that I was really pleased to see Tara’s new swagger as she walked confidently through the woods, unafraid of anything.  The woman thinks Tara is there to help, but Tara’s hunger takes over and she attacks.  Just as she’s about to bite the woman, she sees her reflection in the mirror.  Tara hastily apologizes and retreats, her crisis of conscience taking precedent over her hunger.

Back at the Authority’s HQ, Roman and the chancellors are up in arms over the news that Russell Edgington is still alive.  Clearly, there is no consensus about what to do with Eric and Bill.  They killed Nan, didn’t kill Russell, but should they be sent to the True Death?  The answer isn’t clear.  Roman sends everyone away, ending the meeting with a reverent “bless the blood.”  Roman tells Eric and Bill that the problem with Russell is that he has become a poster boy for the Sanguinista movement; he even draws a comparison between Russell and Osama bin Laden.  And the problem with having such an ancient vampire out and about isn’t just his hunger, which will be multiplied by a thousand once he regains his strength, but it will be his quest for power.  Bill assures Roman that they will capture Russell or die trying.  Salome sees no harm in letting them try, given that they were able to capture him before.  Bill and Eric are taken away, and Roman calls for the “new Nan Flanagan” to be brought in.  Steve Newlin walks through the door.

Sookie, desperate for help with finding Tara, goes to Fangtasia for help.  Pam makes it clear that her responsibility as a maker is over and she really could care less about her progeny.  Especially not when Eric is missing.  This is news to Sookie, who had no idea.  Pam can’t see why Sookie would be concerned about Eric and Bill after all the trouble she caused, and she also rejects Sookie’s belief that things are over between them all.  Pam doesn’t seem to believe Jessica’s assertion that Bill and Eric are away on business, and when Sookie pleads for help summoning Tara, Pam explodes.  “Fuck Tara and fuck you!” she screams, shoving Sookie across the room.  Sookie, hands glowing, fires a Fairy Beam at the vampire, sending her sprawling.  Sookie storms out, leaving an irate Pam to deal with the crowd of onlookers.

Sam, having made an incredibly speedy recovery, is taking out the trash at Merlotte’s when he picks up a scent.  Tara emerges from the bushes, staggering and weak from hunger.  She pleads for Sam’s help—“I’m hungry”—and Sam takes her in, dumbfounded.

Roman schools Steve Newlin in the media conundrum they have found themselves in with the revelation that Russell is alive.  Nan had gone on the air to say that Russell was dead, but he’s alive.  What if he shows up on television?  How can they deal with that backlash?  Steve presents an interesting argument.  Humans, he says, are completely motivated by fear.  They think they will die and go to a heaven full of fluffy clouds and see their dearly departed loved ones with wings and halos.  All he needs, he says, is for Roman and the Authority to tell him what they want the public to believe, and he’ll make them believe it.  That’s a pretty bold statement coming from a four-month old vampire.  While it gave me chills and made me think about the power of our modern day media (and, indeed, the power that media has always wielded—see Yellow Journalism and the Spanish American War, Rupert Murdoch, and clever sound byte editing), it made Roman laugh.  Roman sympathizes with Steve’s perspective as a newborn and cites his own experience, “feed, fuck and kill”, but he insists that humans are the ancestors to vampires and that they aren’t merely hunks of meat.  If vampires don’t come together and evolve, humanity will retaliate.  And the Sanguinista movement is throwing vampires into a civil war.  Steve Newlin’s strength is reaching out to those people who believed in him when he led the Fellowship of the Sun.  Maybe his charisma can pull in new support for the mainstreaming cause.  Roman orders Bill and Eric to be harnessed, and tells Salome to watch over them.

In one of the funnier moments of the show, a young tech-savvy vampire asks Eric and Bill to take their shirts off so she can fit their harnesses.  The harnesses are referred to as iStakes…yes, really….  She tells them to think of it like a training bra (it’s been a while since he’s worn one, Eric says drily).  The iStake can track where they are, who they drink from, who they kill, and if they do something wrong, it’s “click and splat.”  Yes, she says, there’s an app for that.  She takes in Eric and Bill in all of their shirtless glory and tells them they’re “too cute to be goo.”

As Sookie and Lafayette work to put Sookie’s house back in order (something that’s becoming a five-season arc in and of itself), Lafayette says they have searched everywhere.  Sookie can only hope Tara has enough sense to find somewhere to hide during the day, and in the meantime, they need to come up with a story to explain Tara’s new vampire nature and Debbie’s disappearance.

Back at Merlotte’s, Tara is guzzling Tru Blood while Sam tries to piece together what happened.  Tara becomes enraged when he suggests calling Lafayette and Sookie, and her anger puzzles him.  She breaks the bottle and cuts her hand, and then she passes out.  Sam catches her before she hits the ground.

When Andy walks into the Sheriff’s office, his deputies ask if he’s been lifting weights, which makes him puff up like a peacock.  Then they ask if it’s because he’s a local sex symbol.  Confused, Andy finds his deputies looking at a Facebook image of him that shows him in a rather compromising situation.  As he shouts for them to get to work, a man and woman walk in.  They’re Debbie Pelt’s parents, looking for information about the car he’d found on the road.

In the grocery store, Jason is shopping for pickles.  A woman rounds the corner.  It’s Ms. Steeler, one of his high school teachers.  She’s back in Bon Temps after leaving town long ago with her husband.  Jason grins.  “You’re back in Bon Temps, that’s awesome!”  It quickly becomes clear that there is something between these two that runs deep.  When the tension builds, Jason asks her about the pickles.  Crunchy or sweet?  Sweet, she says.

At Merlotte’s Arlene tells Terry that she can’t sleep and she needs to know what is going on.  He won’t talk to her but it’s obvious that something has happened.  Terry expresses regret at not being able to tell her what’s going on.  However, he can tell her that he’s leaving town with Patrick.  They’re leaving directly, and he can’t say where he’s going or how long he’ll be gone.  After he storms away, Sookie and Lafayette burst in and ask if she has seen Tara.  Arlene runs off in tears, so Lafayette follows her to the bathroom, where she slams the door in his face.  She hasn’t seen Tara.  Sookie finds Sam in his office, slouched down in his chair.  He looks tired, as if he’s been up all night.  When Sookie asks about Tara, he’s evasive.  Sam knows that Sookie will try to read his mind, so he keeps thinking about her boobs until he slips and thinks about the walk-in freezer.  When he asks Sookie what happened, Sookie tells him he’s better off not knowing anything.  Guilt weighs heavily on Sookie, and she confesses to Sam that they made the decision for her.  It was becoming a vampire, or dying.  Sam reflects on his brother dying in his arms and assures Sookie that they gave Tara a chance to live, and it’s up to her what she does with it.  Sookie hugs Sam, who can’t promise not to think about her boobs.  Lafayette can’t believe that Sam put his cousin in the freezer.

Flashing back to 1905, Pam introduces the mysterious man who saved her life to her ladies of the night.  Though Rubber Rudy the Chinese contortionist impresses him, Eric insists that he came to see Pam.  Pam refuses to compete with her employees, and Eric wisely tells her that everything has its price.  In her mind, Pam thinks of Claire’s drained corpse and wonders if Eric has something to do with it.  But when they go upstairs, they find Lorena and a newborn Bill feeding on one of the whores.  Bill instinctively tries to save Lorena, and while Eric holds Bill in check, Lorena must apologize to the Viking for her child’s manners.  Eric tells Lorena that she has failed to teach her child to respect his elders.  He demands that they apologize to Pam, and Pam demands that they pay her $500 for every lady they’ve drained.  Eric looks at Pam with a newfound appreciation.  She keeps surprising him.  It’s a match made in heaven.  He approaches her with a hungry look.  She reminds him that they have a debt to settle.  They come together and kiss passionately.

In her coffin, Pam cries blood tears at the memory.

Ms. Steeler tells Jason that her cat’s name is Prince Charming and that he used to pee in her ex’s shoes.  Jason comments that the cat’s name is a lot to live up to.  She serves his tea and asks if he has a girlfriend.  He recounts his most recent romantic interests, including a dead girlfriend, Crystal the were-panther, and now he’s fuck-buddies with his best friend’s ex-girlfriend.  Ms. Steeler tells him that what they shared together was wrong.  She never should have done to him what she did.  I think the audience can guess what she’s getting at.  Jason, nonplussed, moves in to kiss her, sliding his hand up her skirt.  It would seem that Jason’s conscience has taken a mini-vacation.

Debbie Pelt’s parents confront Alcide at a lumber yard.  Alcide informs her parents that they hadn’t just fought, he abjured her (a werewolf term for casting her out of the pack.  According to the books, it’s like ceasing to acknowledge her existence).  This is shocking to them.  Her father insists that all she wanted was to marry Alcide and bear his cubs, and Alcide counters that sleeping with the pack master is an interesting way to show that love.  Not only was she screwing Marcus, she was also back on V.  Debbie’s mom doesn’t want to believe what he’s saying.  She knows something happened to her.  Alcide’s expression falls when she says that they found her wallet and all of her money in her abandoned car.

Back at Merlotte’s, Andy asks Sookie if she knew Debbie Pelt.  Sookie can tell that Andy doesn’t know anything about it, and she’s purposefully evasive with him.  She doesn’t deny seeing Debbie recently, nor does she deny the tension between them.  But she hasn’t seen her lately.  Andy doesn’t push the issue.  He follows Holly outside and shows her Debbie’s photo, and then she shows her the Facebook page.  Holly is aghast and apologetic.  Andy assures her the page has been removed and the memory should fade from the Bon Temps community after fifteen years or so.  Then he gets serious and asks if Holly would like to go to the next level, as in “going steady.”  Holly asks if he means it, given that her kids are delinquents and she’s living in a hotel.  Andy doesn’t care.  He lived with his grandmother and is an alcoholic and a recovering V addict.  Obviously they’re meant for each other.

Ms. Steeler and Jason are getting busy on the carpet.  When they finish, she offers him some of the boxed wine in her fridge.  Jason is staring off in the distance.  She was right, he agrees.  This was all wrong.  He gets up and says goodbye to her, leaving her on the floor with Prince Charming.

In New Orleans, Salome asks Bill if he’s comfortable with his new orders.  He asks about her past.  Chancellor Salome is the same Salome from biblical times, and in the Dance of the Seven Veils and John the Baptist’s head on a silver platter.  She tells Bill that the human Bible isn’t much better than US Weekly, that humans are savage and that the whole head on a platter thing came about for political and family reasons.  She tells Bill that she has been tracking his political career.  She wants to know if she can trust him.  To prove his trust, she offers her body to him.  “My life is in your hands.”  Bill takes her standing up in the hallway.

Jessica is in a dress shop buying new clothes.  We learn that the store is called Tracy’s Togs.  Fans of the novels know that in the books, it’s really Tara’s store, and Bill bought the property and gave Sookie a running tab.  In the show, the proprietor, Tracy, tries to “help” Jessica by giving her advice about Jason.  Her motivation, she claims, is the keep Jessica from getting hurt.  Jessica sees right through it, noting that Tracy is bitter because Jason dumped her back in the day.  If Tracy’s not careful, Jessica threatens, she’ll stop spending her Daddy’s money there.  Message received, she cheerfully orders several dresses and shoes.  But then He walks in.  He is buying dresses for his sisters, all sixteen of them.  Jessica emerges from the dressing room and tells the handsome stranger that he smells awesome.  Her fangs pop out, and he runs from the store.  She follows his car to a park, where he has already vanished.  Hmm…we all know what kind of creatures smell awesome to vampires.  Could this be…well, we’ll get to that.

Hoyt Fortenberry walks into Fangtasia dressed in all of his Goth finery, down to the black guy liner.  Pam sees him and immediately tells him he is in over his head.  “Eyeliner, desperation…they’ll eat you alive.”  Turns out, that’s what Hoyt wants.

Back in 1905, in a bed with Eric, Pam asks what it’s like to be a vampire.  She isn’t afraid of him or what he is.  Eric is intrigued that she wants him to take her life instead of begging him to spare her after all she’s seen.  Pam wants a life worth living, she tells him.  As a woman of the night, no matter her status in the business, she will become a pariah in her old age and die alone, most likely from some STD.  Though Eric praises her line of work, saying that it’s better that many other career paths, he tells her that being a maker comes with great responsibility.  Just as a human would never leave a baby in the gutter, a maker must care for his child.  It’s an eternal commitment and vampire children can’t be thrown away.  He’s an honorable vampire, Pam says scornfully.  And she’s an intelligent whore, Eric counters.  He gets up to pull his pants on while Pam crosses the room.  She gasps sharply, and then turns to reveal her cut wrists.  Pam delivers quite the ultimatum: “Let me walk the world with you, Mr. Northman, or watch me die.”  After several agonizing moments of deliberation, his fangs pop down and he rushes at her.

Now it’s Eric’s turn to have some one-on-one time with Salome.  She reveals that she knows Nora is Eric’s sister, and she assures him that she’s the only one who knows.  Salome sponsored Nora’s chancellorship, you see, and her betrayal makes her look bad.  There are always choices, she tells him, taunting him with her body.  She can see that Eric has been hurt recently, and though he insists that he heals quickly, she tells him that she wants to be friends.  As she undresses, she tells Eric that he can tell what she wants, but what intrigues her is what Eric wants.

In another chamber, Nora is being tortured by the redheaded vampire from Texas.  Texas wonders if Nora is hiding her secrets because of love—a Sheriff and King sandwich is something even she’d bite—or does she have ulterior motives.  As the silver drips into her veins and her skin burns, Nora confesses.  She doesn’t believe in mainstreaming, and the mother of all vampires, Lilith, is coming back for vengeance.  Even with her admission, the silver continues into her bloodstream.

There’s a knock at Jason’s door.  It’s Jessica, and she is coming down from the effects of the man she encountered.  She had to come tell Jason that this mystery man smelled like cotton candy and fresh bread and sex.  And now all she can think about is Jason.  Jason gets angry, pushing her away from him.  He’s not a mechanical bull, he tells her.  He had a big gaping hole in his soul that he was filling with sex.  He’d started having sex too young and it killed the pain of everything, and now it’s not working.  And since women mean sex, he can’t be friends with women.  And when Jessica tries to talk to him, Little Jason wants to play.  In a moment that really defines the bond between them, Jessica tells Jason to get a beer while she puts on some of his sweats, and then they can talk.  Even if she can’t give him solutions, at least he isn’t alone.  Interestingly enough, in the graphic novel True Blood: All Together Now (see my review here), writer Alan Ball explores Jason’s demons by taking him down memory lane, where he has sex with one of his high school teachers.  It was at that point in his life that he became the man he is today.  And now it would seem that Jason doesn’t want to be that person anymore.

The sun is down and Lafayette is waiting for Tara to wake up at Merlotte’s.  Arlene walks through the freezer and sees Tara, who wakes up and grabs Lafayette’s arm before getting away.  At the front of the bar, Alcide asks Sookie for answers after she blows off news that something has happened with Debbie.  Alcide can’t figure out why, when he shows up at her house to tell her about Russell Edgington, she pushes him away, and now, hearing about Debbie, she doesn’t seem to care.  What isn’t she telling him?  There is noise in the back, and the gang confronts Tara.  When Sookie tries to calm Tara, and prevent her from spilling the truth about Debbie, Tara shakes her head in disappointment.  “This is your plan?”  Tara runs off.  Alcide watches her go.  “Nothing’s going on, huh?”  Oh, Alcide, if only you knew….

Bill and Eric are in the elevator.  Eric begins to tell Bill about his encounter with Salome, and then he stops.  “You too?”  Bill smiles and says a gentleman would never spill those kind of secrets.  But they both agree on one thing—she’s after something.  But what?  They step off the elevator and are greeted by a flock of armed guards.

Roman enters Salome’s bedroom.  She’s still on the bed after her encounter with Eric.  He asks if she learned anything.  Her rendezvous with Bill and Eric confirmed that neither is involved with the Sanguinistas.  Roman informs her that Nora has confessed, that the Sanguinistas sent her to undermine his rule and the Authority’s attempt at mainstreaming.  He compares his efforts to John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, Jr, saying that it never would have worked if either had backed away from the Civil Rights Movement.  Salome reminds him that they were both assassinated for their efforts.  She’s afraid for his safety.  Roman, pulling off his shirt, pulls her against his chest.  Lucky for him, she’s his secret weapon.

Back at Merlotte’s, Arlene chastises Lafayette for turning his own flesh and blood into a vampire while asking why her gumbo order is late.  In a rage, Lafayette pours bleach into the gumbo.  When he looks up, he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, only it’s not him, it’s the demon who personified Jesus’s brujo magic.  “No, no, no,” he murmurs.  Lafayette dumps the gumbo out.  (Is it weird to anyone that Sookie and Lafayette are back at work given that Tara is out running amok?)

Outside the bar, Sookie tries to explain to Alcide what happened that night.  Debbie had the gun, she shot Tara, Sookie got the gun away from her, and…”I killed her,” she admits.  It seems like Alcide’s anger stems more from the fact that Sookie was going to lie to him and let him go out to search for her rather than tell him the truth.  Sookie tries to justify her decision by pointing out that in the past, Alcide always forgave Debbie and even though he’d abjured her, she thought he might take Debbie back.  As Alcide storms away, Sookie tries to find out if he plans to turn her in.  She doesn’t get a response.

Just as we start to think Tara is going to embrace her new nature, we see her walking down the street until she comes to Curl Up and Fry, the local tanning salon.  She breaks the window and goes into one of the rooms.  She turns gets into the bed and turns it on.  Tara starts screaming almost immediately, smoke rising from the bed.  It’s almost like a cautionary tale about the inherent risks of tanning salons. (New Jersey mom, anyone?)  I’m a little annoyed that she’s already tried to take her life.  I had such high hopes after the way the episode began.

At Fangtasia, as Pam’s fingers fly over the adding machine’s buttons with speed that would make any CPA envious, Pam stops and stares absently.  She can feel what Tara is doing through her maker’s bond.  She shakes her head.  “You stupid bitch.”

So we progress even further into the season’s storyline.  I LOVE watching Pam and Eric’s interactions in 1905, and I hope that Bill and Eric leave the warehouse soon so we can watch the two of them work together.  Seeing the two of them meet in 1905 was an interesting footnote to the current storyline; the fact that Eric had to school Lorena on Bill’s manners is ironic.  I’m a little worried, truth be told, that Lafayette and Sookie might spend the whole season chasing Tara, cleaning Sookie’s house, or working at Merlotte’s…but I will remain the optimist and continue to believe that what is coming is well worth it.

What did you think?  Feel free to post your thoughts below, or send your comments to me on Twitter.  See you next week, #FangNation!

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DarkMedia contributor Sarabeth Pollock is an avid writer, reader, and pop culture fan.  Follow her on Twitter at @SarabethPollock and check out her blog at http://sarabethpollock.wordpress.com.