Sherlock Recap: “A Scandal in Belgravia”

by Kimmie Chameleon:

Sherlock Recap: “A Scandal in Belgravia”
Original Air Date (BBC One): January 1, 2012
Series 2 Episode 1

Lucky 13

With its brilliant writing, superb acting, and inventive directing, BBC’s Sherlock has garnered 13 Emmy nominations this year. No episode from this series better illustrates the high intensity and keen originality than “A Scandal in Belgravia”.

Staying Alive

Ask and you shall receive. Sherlock has cried “BORED!” to the universe and it has answered back…and then some. In this season’s opener, we pick up poolside in a stand-off between Sherlock and his incorrigible nemesis, Moriarty. Will Sherlock shoot the bomb-pack and explode Moriarty, John, and himself to smithereens? The long awaited answer to that would come from an ill-timed cell phone ring tone blaring in Moriarty’s pocket. The tune, ironically enough, is “Staying Alive” by the Bee Gees. Sherlock obliges and lets Moriarty take the call. It would seem that the caller has intrigued Moriarty enough to drop the whole, ‘we-are-gonna-kill-each-other-right-now’ issue with Sherlock, and so he abruptly departs.

The Woman

Without the lure of a formidable challenge that Moriarty brought to Sherlock, regular crimes are boring and dull. Not much is quite worth his time. John’s blogs about their investigative cases are becoming rather popular…so much in fact that they are summoned by an anonymous member of the British monarchy and find themselves at Buckingham Palace. Mycroft greets them and informs them that a young female royal has requested their assistance in a case of impending blackmail. A Dominatrix, well known as “The Woman”, has some compromising photographs of the royal and her in her possession. Sherlock becomes intrigued when Mycroft tells him that “The Woman”, Irene Adler, has expressed to them that she has no intention of blackmail, but refuses to give up the photographs. Sherlock accepts the case and runs straight over to Irene Adler’s place. What Sherlock is not aware of is that Irene has been spying on Sherlock for quite some time.

Sherlock disguises himself as a recently mugged priest, and John as a random eyewitness doctor. Irene wastes no time and introduces herself to Sherlock without a stitch of clothing on. Sherlock is stunned and completely baffled. She informs him that she knows who they are and what they want but she will not abide. Sherlock quickly figures out where the safe is and is about to decode it when some American CIA agents come busting in. They demand for Sherlock to open it, but he does not know the code even though Irene told him code, in her own way. Sherlock quickly punches in the code, (Irene’s sexy measurements) and he quickly ducks because he has figured out that the safe is booby trapped. Chaos ensues and John, Irene, and Sherlock join together to rid themselves of the brutal agents. Sherlock refuses to give Irene her precious camera phone that stores all of the incriminating photos. Irene manages to beat down Sherlock and take the phone back. Sherlock awakens to discover that Irene has escaped. This woman utterly fascinates him. He believes that Irene needs these photos for protection..but from what?

Sherlock…Speechless? (gasp!)

Sherlock assures Mycroft that he needn’t be concerned about Irene blackmailing a royal with photos. Sherlock is more concerned that Irene has American CIA trained assassins after her. She must have an even bigger nugget of secret knowledge. Sherlock is rendered speechless when he receives multiple text messages from Irene asking how he is feeling. Normally our brilliant detective would have some condescending response, but Irene is different. She has even cleverly changed her ringtone notification to a breathy sexual sigh.

Time passes, and it is now Christmas Eve. Sherlock and John host a holiday party. Sherlock’s phone sighs sexually and Sherlock reads the message. Irene has somehow left him a gift. In private, he opens it and it is Irene’s coveted cell phone. Sherlock calls Mycroft to tell him that he believes Irene will be found dead that night. Sure enough, Mycroft and Sherlock find a bashed up woman in a morgue whose body is unmistakably Irene’s. Sherlock is completely devastated. Yes, that’s right…Sherlock is heartbroken.

After a week of constant worry over Sherlock’s sorrow, John steps outside their flat and is approached by a woman who lures him into a car. John believes it is Mycroft, but when he arrives at the destination he is stunned to come face-to-face with Irene. Irene wants John to retrieve her cell phone from Sherlock, but he rather she tell Sherlock herself. Irene gives in and texts Sherlock. John and Irene hear the unmistakable ring tone sigh…Sherlock has followed them. Sherlock rushes home, but when he gets there he finds Mrs.Hudson beaten up and taken hostage by the American assassins that want Irene’s cell phone. Sherlock manages to avert disaster and rid the house of the thugs. Sherlock holds on to the cell phone for safe keeping, but still cannot crack the pass code to get into it.

Thwarted

Time passes, and out of the blue John and Sherlock come home to find Irene waiting for them. She reveals that the camera phone has an email from a Minister of Defense who says that the email can save the world. When Sherlock reads the encrypted message he instantly deduces that it is a flight seating arrangement for a 747 on its way to Baltimore from Heathrow the next day at 6:30. While Irene distracts Sherlock with promises of a sexual nature that make him uncomfortable, she texts Moriarty the flight information that Sherlock just uncovered. Moriarty then sends Mycroft a disturbing message. It turns out that the Americans and British authorities are aware that there is a terrorist bomb on a passenger jet, but will let it detonate rather than reveal that they have an inside source. This doomed flight is actually being set up by them, but is filled with dead people. It was supposed to look authentic, but now Moriarty knows about the whole plan because Irene told him.

I AM SHERLOCKED

Sherlock has been duped by Irene but still refuses to give her back her phone. Sherlock has one last attempt to crack the code and gives it a go. He has figured out that although Irene vehemently denies it, she is as enraptured with him as he is with her. The code is: I AM SHERLOCKED. He gives Mycroft the phone and urges him to let Irene go. She admits she won’t even last 6 months without any protection. Sherlock leaves a distraught Irene.

A few months later John is approached by Mycroft who tells him that Irene has been beheaded by terrorists a couple of months ago. Mycroft suggests that John tell Sherlock that she is in America in a witness protection program. John gives Sherlock this false story, but after John leaves we see Sherlock flashback to a couple of months ago where we see him saving Irene from a terrorist beheading. Ohhhh….that WOMAN!!!

Quotable Quotes:

Moriarty (on his cell phone): “So if you have what you say you have, I’ll make you rich. If not, I’ll make you into shoes.”

Sherlock to John: “This is a 6. There’s no point in leaving the flat for anything less than a 7, we agreed.”
John to Sherlock: “When did we agree that?”
Sherlock to John: “We agreed it yesterday.”
John to Sherlock: “I wasn’t even home yesterday. I was in Dublin.”
Sherlock to John: “It’s hardly my fault you weren’t listening.”
John to Sherlock: “You just carry on talking when I’m away?”
Sherlock to John: “I don’t know. How often are you away?”

John to Sherlock: “Are we here to see the Queen?”
(As Mycroft enters the room) Sherlock to John: “Oh, apparently yes.”

Sherlock to Mycroft: “Dominatrix?”
Mycroft to Sherlock: “Don’t be alarmed. It’s to do with sex.”
Sherlock to Mycroft: “Sex doesn’t alarm me.”
Mycroft to Sherlock: “How would you know?”

Sherlock to John: “I think we’re done now, John!”
John to Sherlock: “You don’t remember, Sherlock. I was a soldier! I killed people!”
Sherlock to John: “You were a doctor!”
John to Sherlock: “I had bad days!”

Irene Adler to Sherlock: “Brainy’s the new sexy.”

Irene to Sherlock: “I don’t understand.”
Sherlock to Irene: “Try to.”
Irene to Sherlock: “Why?”
Sherlock to Irene: “Because you cater to the whims of the pathetic and take your clothes off to make an impression. Stop boring me and think. It’s the new sexy.”

Sherlock to John: “You got a photograph of me wearing that hat?”
John to Sherlock: “Yeah, people like the hat.”
Sherlock to John: “No they don’t! What people?!”

Sherlock to CIA Agent: “First get rid of your boys.”
CIA Agent to Sherlock: “Why?”
Sherlock to CIA Agent: “I dislike being outnumbered. It makes for too much stupid in the room.”

Sherlock to Irene: “Please don’t feel obliged to tell me that was remarkable or amazing. John’s expressed that thought in every possible variant available to the English language.”
Irene to Sherlock: “I would have you, right here on this desk, until you begged for mercy…twice.”

Irene to Sherlock: “Oh, dear God. Look at the poor man. You don’t actually think I was interested in you? Why? Because you’re the great Sherlock Holmes? The clever detective in the funny hat?”

Sherlock to Irene (as he holds her wrist and whispers in her ear): “No. Because I took your pulse. Elevated. Your pupils dilated.”