Big Betty

by W. J. Howard:

Ben watched as his sister Betty tipped her glass and stared at the milky coating. Desperately, she waved a straw across the bottom and slurped in every last drop. The Morning Star restaurant made the best milkshakes, he thought, but this was embarrassing.

The place was more of a greasy spoon though, complete with dark wood, red vinyl booths and yellow stained walls. The air permeated with an overpowering aroma of eggs and waffles twenty-four hours a day.

“I thought you were on a diet?” he said.

Betty looked up and met with her brother’s captious stare. “I am. Lost ten pounds last month and decided to reward myself.

Ben frowned at her logic, but also felt a little guilty as he popped a french fry smothered with chili and cheese into his mouth.

He wouldn’t bother to argue with Betty. She was touchy about her weight, especially the size of her ass, where most of the calories she consumed seemed to settle. He also knew they’d end up in the same tired discussion, that her obesity was genetic on their mother’s side. So he changed the subject. “You watch the Rockies’ game last night?”

“Nope. Watched a documentary on telekinesis.” Betty stole one of Ben’s fries.

Ben grunted while shooing his sister’s hand away.

“I bet I can move your fries with my mind.”

Ben laughed. “They teach you that in the documentary?”

“Seriously. If I can do it, you buy me another milkshake.”

“You trying to gain the ten pounds back in a day?” When Ben saw the blood rush to Betty’s face he instantly regretted what he said. Her body tensed and she lifted in her seat. Lucky for him, her belly was wedged into the booth or she might have come over the table at him. “I’m sorry,” Ben said. “I didn’t mean it.”

All at once the fries on top of the pile toppled and fell off the plate.

“Look.” Betty smiled and pointed at the mess on the table. “I did it.”

Ben was hardly impressed. Gravity and a shaking table deserved the credit he thought, but this time he kept his opinion to himself.

“Never mind about the shake. I’ve got to run.” Betty dropped a ten dollar bill on the table then squeezed out of the booth. “See you tomorrow, at Mom’s?”

Ben nodded.

A bus pulled up to the 5th Street stop just as Betty turned the corner. Still a block away and knowing she would have to wait an hour for the next bus, she waved her arms and called out, “Wait!” She tried to hurry, but the hot day had made her thighs tacky. As the sticky sweat ripped at her skin, Betty tripped then tumbled to the sidewalk.

No one stopped to help Betty. In fact, one woman in a mini-skirt and stylish heels spoke into her cell phone as she walked by, “I wish you were here to see this.” She then looked down at Betty and laughed out loud.

Betty struggled to sit up on the hard concrete. She mumbled, “Bitch,” while wiping blood from her left elbow. Her face redden and butt cheeks clenched as she envisioned the heal of the woman’s Jimmy Choo separating from the shoe.

The heal cracked just as Betty had imagined, and the woman’s ankle collapsed. She howled in pain, which drew a crowd, including a tall, dark and handsome stranger. His arm wrapped around her waist, they stared into each other’s eyes as if fate had brought them together.

Betty choked. The skinny and beautiful have all the luck, she thought. Filled with spite, Betty called over to the woman, “Glad I was here to see your shoe break.”

“What’s the matter with you?” the knight in shining armor called back.

“Her ass is taking up the entire sidewalk,” A teenage boy shouted as he approached on a skateboard.

Betty turned and glared. She could plainly see the boy’s skateboard crack in her head, and in reality it snapped almost simultaneously. She laughed, half at the boy launching head first into a parked car and half out of pleasure for her new found talent to manipulate objects.

“What are you laughing at you fat ugly bitch?” The boys said, tears forming in his eyes while he rubbed his head.

Call me names you little shit? In her minds-eye, a nearby lamp post fell on the youth’s head, but she cleared her thoughts, suddenly overcome with guilt. It was too late though. Down the street, a post teetered in the boy’s direction.

A man delivering water saw the potential tragedy and yelled, “Watch out.” He dropped the bottle balanced over his shoulder then pushed the pole toward the buildings and in line with where Betty stood.

She tried to move, but her thighs were even sweatier. Betty could only move into a position to watch the lamp post fall squarely on her head.

Six month’s later Betty awoke from a coma in the hospital, her brother by her side.

“Welcome back,” the nurse said while replacing the IV.

“How long have I been out?”

“Six months,” Ben said.

“Consider yourself lucky,” added the nurse while walking to the foot of the bed. “Not only did you escape any brain damage, you lost a hundred pounds. Your ass is a quarter the size. You should have no trouble finding a man now.”

Ben flinched, knowing his sister was about to go off on the woman.

Instead, Betty concentrated on the television above the nurse’s head. She clenched her ass cheeks as her face reddened. Nothing happened. She clenched harder. Still nothing. Damn, she thought. Was all the power in my ass fat?

Betty looked over at her brother. “Ben, go get me a couple cheeseburgers and a chocolate shake.”

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