The following contains spoilers for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
by Jenny Krueger:
Last Monday night I had the opportunity to check out the movie Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. I was excited for this movie ever since I heard about the book. I’ve been familiar with the author Seth Grahame-Smith since I read his book “How to survive a Horror Movie.” Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter takes place with Abraham as a little boy. He witnessed his mother being killed by a vampire and he swore that one day he will get revenge for his mother’s death.
About ten years goes by and he stumbles along a man named Henry. Henry agrees to teach Abraham how to kill vampires as long as he follows his rules of when, who and where. Abe gets a job at a local grocery-like store and meets the unavailable Mary Todd, or so we thought. They begin to grow fond of each other and decide to marry.
Abraham knew he needed a back up plan and something to fall back on so he decided to get into politics. He felt as President he could make the Country a better place by getting rid of all the vampires. President of the United States by day, Vampire Hunter by night. Abraham and Mary Todd have a son that ends up being killed by a female vampire that just so happens to be one of the vampire leaders of the clan.
It comes down to the Battle at Gettysburg. Our faithful soldiers against an army of vampires. Mary Todd supports her husband and helps him with the battle against the vampires a long with some of Abe’s other friends. They trick the male vampire leader into thinking all the sliver they have collected to use against the vampires was on the train they were currently on.
Abraham kills the male vampire leader while his wife kills the female vampire leader. The Battle at Gettysburg takes place and they use their weapon of sliver against the vampires and win the battle. Abraham goes on to continue his role as President which includes freeing Slavery and the Battle at Gettysburg. This movie was everything I could ever ask for. I loved every single minute of it, from start to finish.
This is why I go to the movies, this is why I love horror movies. Watching a movie that makes you feel exactly how Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter made me feel is an amazing feeling and it makes you crave for more. It’s really not your typical horror movie. It has a campy feel to it but not the type of campy feel that makes you feel like you’re watching a B-horror movie failure. It’s campy on purpose and it doesn’t expect you to take it seriously.
It’s fun, it’s dark, it’s entertaining, it’s well written and it’s self absorbing. You get sucked into this movie and feel like you’re fighting the Vampires with Abraham. I found myself smiling throughout the movie, it was just that good. You can’t go see this movie and not think to yourself “Wow!” It’s mind boggling and seriously an EPIC WIN! The music was amazing and the fight scenes were hardcore. One thing on my list of why I love this movie so much is how it’s not that gorey.
We all know I’m considered a gorehound and I like gorey movies but this movie had just the right amount of gore in it to satisfy my need for blood 😉 and still manage to keep it low key and not over killing it. I know a lot of people didn’t like this movie and I feel bad. I feel bad that they weren’t able to have the same wonderful experience that I had with this movie. If they did, they certainly would of enjoyed it a lot more. If you haven’t seen the movie yet and still need something to spice up your desire to see it then don’t think and just watch it. If you love horror movies and even love campy B-horror movies then I’m sure you will love this movie.
I give this movie 5 out of 5 Skulls!
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