15 Things You Missed at San Diego Comic Con 2015

Is it safe yet?

I mean, if you were at San Diego Comic Con 2015, you experienced the best and worst that modern fandom has to offer. Long lines, weird food concessions, strange people in velvet jackets pointing you all over the place. But somehow, you found a place to flop, you survived the overnight line for Hall H and all that insanity and made it home in one piece.

Then you realized that you missed almost everything else about the con. Especially as it concerns horror, suspense and all thing Dark Media.

But, hey, fret not! That’s what we’re here for… And without further ado, here are the 15 things you missed seeing or hearing at SDCC 2015.

1. Number of Big Hammer Harley Quinns vs Small Hammer Harley Quinns: 4 to 3 in favor of the Big Hammers. America’s favorite psycho sweetheart was repped strongly inside and outside Hall H as many versions of her wandered the grounds. However, the Big Hammer versions ruled the day over their smaller sisters (and brothers, in a few cases).  One Baseball Bat Harley did not get the memo (sorry, Margot Robbie)…

2. Number of competing outside protests: Three, as a local Christian street preaching team was greeted by the staged protestors for the new “Damien” TV show. This clash of good and evil threatened to induce Armageddon right there on Harbor Ave. However, not to be outdone, the “Bow to Zod” folks made an appearance. Fortunately, all sectarian violence was avoided.

3. Number of times I was asked where I got my Supergirl bag: 3. The majority of the attendees were granted equal numbers of either “Lucifer” or “Minions” bags. I, however, was mysteriously gifted the Girl of Steel, which was a conversation starter at the very least. I can’t say it fits my public persona (I’m more of a Huntress kind-of-guy actually), but hey, it was better than being a billboard for the Devil all weekend.

4. Number of Metal Bikini Leias vs. Hair Bun Leias: 8 to 1. This was a rout as it seems every year, Metal Bikini Leia grows in popularity. For some reason, young women across the galaxy strive to relieve that wonderful, liberating moment in film history when a young, nubile Carrie Fisher spent two days and nights chained to a plastic slug. Who knew then they were predicting the plot of “Fifty Shades of Grey”? Such a visionary, that George Lucas.

5. Hardest Horror Press Event to get into: “Ash vs Evil Dead.” It was a jealously guarded invite, that one. I think you had to be a extended Rami family member, or have worked with Bruce Campbell on “Burn Notice” to get on the list. The super, double-secret presser and roundtable was more than worth the wait, however, as “Ash vs Evil Dead” was by far the best horror-themed trailer of the con. (And it didn’t even need Ben Affleck!)

6. Best Coolest Horror Event to get into: Warner Bros Archive Collection roundtable discussion concerning their tribute releases for Hammer Films and Ray Harryhausen. Sitting across the table from Piranha and Gremilins director, Joe Dante, priceless….

7. Average Number of Guesses it took to ID Obscure Cosplay: Over/Under Three Times: There were large conferences on who exactly was who at pubs and eateries across the San Diego Metro area.  While some cosplay defied easy identification, I am happy to report that we correctly IDed the Phantom of Paradise on first blush!  (sneaky plug: If you don’t know this version of the Phantom, consult your local horror movie resource book immediately, like my humble offing Look Back in Horror: A Personal History of Horror Film. okay, plug over).

8. Amount of Wifi needed compared to amount of Wifi available: 200% Under Needed Wifi: Maybe it was just because everybody in Southern California was trying to access the internet through the Convention Center’s hub. However, attendees of SDCC were returned to Compu-Serve levels of internet access. Ahh, memories….

9. Price of replacement USB Cable at Local Gift Shop after leaving $2.45 USB cable at your Hotel: $37.50

10. Level of Disgust when said $2.45 USB cable was found in another bag while setting up for Interview: Almost Infinite

11. Times my T-shirt with HR Giger influenced, Swedish Prog Death Metal band Meshuggah was recognized: Three. Which depicts you have reached the ultimate zenith in musical taste, or that my Taylor Swift shirt was in the wash…

12. Times my wonderful, journalistic comrades made me laugh hysterically: Seven. Kudos to all good humor and good times that were had waiting online for press agents or extremely late celebrities

13. Times I Almost Saw Jennifer Lawrence: Two. I never did actually see J-law directly, but was in the vicinity twice when screaming, barbarian hordes said she down the hall. As you could imagine, this lead to more frenzy than feeding time at the lion’s cage. Maybe she was wishing she had Katniss’ bow and arrows.

14. Random Pinhead Statue seen: One. Though as as Clive Barker maintains in his new book The Scarlet Gospels, we should be referring to his great mindchild as The Hell-Priest. Ahhh Pinny, you’re too bad-ass to be having an identity crisis.

15. Number of Day before you’re lining up for Hall H again: Over/Under 340 days. First in line, first one who gets the honor of receiving a 10 cent nightclub wristband.

See ya in 2016!